As you know last week was a difficult week for me and this week was only slightly better. A stomach bug or a sudden bought of lactose intolerance (I'm not sure which, I think it might be the latter) took me down for a few, uncomfortable days. I fell behind in the work I had planned to get done over the course of the week. I began to wonder if it really mattered whether the work I do matters. Carrying over some thoughts from last week, I found myself pondering where I'm at in my life. It soon occurred to me that I am questioning my Self Worth. My prompt for this week is self worth.
My kids are all living at home in varying stages of developing independence to young adulthood. My household is busy and I feel busy ALL the time. I manage the office for my husband's small business but I don't draw a paycheck. I am trying to create, market and grow my small business but don't feel successful at times. Some days I want a job outside of the home, to bring home a real paycheck. I want validation. I want to feel that I am contributing. I want to do something meaningful. I want to feel connected. Yes, I want to feel successful too. Years ago I gave up my career to take care of my family and my husband's growing business. Now, as my kids no longer need me so much, I am wondering what am I doing with my life. Then it occurred to me ... OMgosh! I am the proverbial middle age woman! Nah, I'm going with simply having an off week.
I quickly realized that these thoughts relate to my own personal ideas of self worth. Society feeds a lot of ideas into our heads. We are deluged with images and voices telling us what we should do, what we should have, how we should look, how we should act, what makes us successful or not. I think it is important to quiet all those voices and put those images aside so we can listen to our own hearts. We each have to choose what is right for us. We have to believe in what we are doing. We have to believe we are significant and we do have value regardless of our job description, the size of our house, the money in our wallets. Our own personal thoughts of our self worth is very important to our overall happiness.